Dear Other Food Bloggers, I’m Jealous.

That is my epipen. It is always with me no matter where i go. I’ve used it more times than i am willing to admit, and trust it with my life. I have food allergies and it makes me jealous of most of you.

    When i see the instagrams or twitpics of what you ate at a new restaurant, or i read your latest recipes, or i hear about how you tried something new, i feel a jealously that most of you may never understand. I’m not jealous because that particular night you ate it and i didn’t, i’m jealous because i’ll never get to eat it, try it, share in the excitement i read about. 

    It makes me mad, sad and sometimes down right angry.  I love food, but there are foods that can kill me. It’s ironic that the thing i love can be the thing that can be the end of me, but that is what it comes down to.

    Every time i’m invited out to dinner i look up the menu before i go - can i eat there? are they nice enough that if i ask them to change something they will? Am i going out with people who will be embarrassed by the questions i will need to ask the waitstaff? Will the waitstaff roll their eyes and think that i am being difficult?

    I’ve told people that invite me over for dinner that i like them to much to put them through the pressure of feeding me, or offer to cook myself. When people at work are snacking on something, i turn it down if there isn’t ingredient lists...or worse, if there is the very dangerous “natural flavour” listed - that one has put me in the hospital more than once.

    I’ve learned that even things i’ve eaten for years can change (see my potato in my mayo post) and that sometimes, they are things that i love (Skittles, i still have not forgiven you).

    I want to be like the rest of you, i want to try new things, i want to eat something because it looks amazing, i don’t want to think, and read, and ask questions before i eat things. I want to try your recipes without having to change things, or omit things. I want to be normal, but most of all, i want to not be so jealous of most of you and just share in wonderful food.